Unlimited...

Abortions. Palin tells crowds that Obama wants "unlimited abortions" (presumably not for himself). This phrasing may have troublesome implications for the future of cultural conservatism.

The doomsday phrase used to be, and may still be (cue that phreneticalyptic opera melody used in movie commercials), "Abortions on Demand." I think this died out when, suddenly, Miley Cyrus "On Demand" became a daily part of L'il Jenny Sixpack's life, and a nightly part of Joe Sixpack's (spiritual) death.

I think that "unlimited abortion" is more abstract, and thus less urgent, that "AOD." And as a rallying cry, "UA" leaves the pro-life platform vulnerable to some fun rhetorical play on the part of Sam's Club sluts who buy babycide in bulk.

First of all, if your problem is the unlimited-ness of abortions in pro-choice America, then it stands to reason that you would be happier if we limited the number of abortions. A person who decries unlimited abortions would presumably be open to bargaining on a set number of abortions that every woman and her uninvited guest is allowed in a lifetime.

(And what about the afterlife? Do all pregnancies come to term in Hell, or do they fail? I would imagine that for some abortionees, Hell would be an endless senior year as a pregnant-fat has-been bearing the scarlet stretchmarks of miscalculated sin beneath her shirt.)

The question, then, is how many abortions are within "-limit-"s?

OH GOD NO NUMBERS!!! Don't worry, pro-lifers, this is where your corporate confederates in the Republican leadership will step in to underwrite an efficient, laissez-faire, Friedman(OH GOD I LOST IT)esque scheme for choosing a proper freakonomical figure. But corporate conservatives must beware the Coasean cabal of Cap-and-Traders calling for credits for kid-killing cuteblockers. Because we all know some unscrupulous speculator would end up monopolizing the market. This evil financier, let's call him George Soros, would undoubtedly use his economic position to spend even more money on ACORN and ending talk radio.

So, Sarah bear, i think it's time to go back to decrying "Abortion On Demand," Comcast be damned.